Written by: Hannah Joice Nicole S. Malacad
Pubmat by: Andrea Nicole Sales
It is so often that, as a child, we are told about the value of connecting with other people. We are taught to go out, befriend others and explore the world with them in quest of meaningful experiences and lessons. They constantly drilled into our heads how important it is to broaden your network, master teamwork, and develop your ability to act and think amid a very busy environment. And although it is significant for several reasons, this overzealous exhortation to connect with everyone and make an effort to relate overlooks the equal value of solitude, making introverts struggle many times.
As a child, my guardians constantly reminded me to make friends with other children – whether at events we attended, on regular days in the neighborhood, or even when conversing over supper. So, I tried a lot of times, which made me discover, over time, how my energy easily depletes after some minutes of essaying the desire to interact actively with people. And no – I am not antisocial; a little differently social, maybe. I have a few friends that last until the present. It's just that it takes me too long to be socially stimulated – regardless of how kind, aloof, funny, or angsty the person I am with. This frequently caused people to misinterpret me. They thought that I usually detached myself from them because I felt superior to them or I did not like them. I have been called names: arrogant, snob, weirdo, overly selective, loner, misfit, and many more epithets. And though it's true – sometimes, I really do not like other people, the truth is I just prefer being alone or in a small group of individuals.
For many years of wanting to be competent, I practiced being agile, quick-thinking, and capable of working under pressure. And even though I have kind of mastered it—because, really, I have no choice—I knew in my heart that when given adequate time and space alone, I can think and produce more effectively. I may be productive in the middle of a spry and tumultuous environment, but I am freer and brighter when I am unchained from the distortions of other people's voices, stares, and movements. Unfortunately, the world has prioritized learning to be a team contributor, a people person, and a superb conversationalist; it has neglected the positive attributes of working individually. Think of how little to no organization or event in school, workplace, or community is about introspection.
Another struggle introverts face is how others brand them as shy, weak, and cowardly. People must be reminded that silence does not equate to the fright of speaking or timidity. Some people need more time to process their thoughts carefully or simply think about when or if they need to speak up. Introverts are not slow-witted or unwilling to contribute to conversations; it is about our inclination to construct creativity and brilliance in solitude. Being reserved and taking time to recoup energy are parts of our being – like extroverts long for interactions and noise. And it is not right to make us feel guilty about frequently wanting time to be with ourselves. The world has always provided extroverts the necessary time, activity, and space – favoring active collaboration, deep talks, and team activities. It is so seldom that people are taught to go alone, ponder things by themselves, and enjoy solitary projects. The world has long told people that grand character and charisma are possessed by great speakers, sociable collaborators, and active team players. And people with reserved personalities or low energy are the ordinary and forgettable ones – unable to make a substantial contribution or significantly impact others.
It needs to end here – the constant madness for association and the tendency to box introverts in the definition of shy, antisocial, and offbeat. Humans understandably need a connection to others, but we also need a sound relationship with ourselves. For persons whose major source of oxygen is seclusion, the pressure to conform to the standards of this "interactive society" can sometimes lead to suffocation. Not being very good at socializing is not a disease that people must constantly try to cure. Not being exuberant is not a reason for us to feel insecure and think of ourselves as a problem case. It should not be treated as an obstacle to what we want to achieve. I know many people out there experience the same struggles of being misunderstood as an introvert like me. This conveys to them that introversion does not define us – we are more and can attain things beyond what people think is only achievable by individuals of great influence and network. Introverts can succeed and perform well in any career path they are currently on, even one that requires them to engage with others, like the Human Resource path. We just have to be given and not judged for how we handle things and nourish our connection with others. People must stop referring to our way of life as dull, boring, or odd and start showing greater trust and respect. Being an introvert is not a flaw nor a weakness – it is an impermanent part of an individual's being. And even though we seem reticent or socially awkward, we deserve a respected space in the world.
